Week in Review a bit late …

I had an actual swim breakthrough this week .. and it was AWESOME!!! We had a hard workout planned for Monday. I knew it as soon as Jack said “it’s not too bad”. Ha! I know what that means…. it means warm up well and prepare yourself for a good workout. I’ve been feeling low energy in the pool the last few weeks. We had a set of hard and easys. I got a little talking too on taking it too easy – so pushed on my last 100. It felt good when i hit the wall. Then jack says “one more hard set” 8x25s on the :30. Wow – went out hard and finished in :26. I knew it was going to be a slog. Made the first 3 and missed the 4th. Had to take a few breaths at the wall and then jumped right back into it. Got the next three and missed the last by a breath. Unreal way to finish out the workout.

The rest of the week was pretty bleh!! That weird shin pain that showed up and cancelled my long run last was high on the mind this week. I did most of my runs – but modified them – running much slower and shorter than planned. Kind of scary leading up to my last race of the year. I’m just totally run down and ready to be done with this season. Spent a few nights looking like this:

Ouch

Did break this puppy in though 🙂

Better faster stronger

We were at the dojo this weekend so I didn’t get my long workouts done as expected. Moved the long run to monday. One thing that i learned this weekend is that I have a lot of work to do on my flexibility and overall strength. I’ve lost so much of my dynamic flexibility. That’s the kind of stuff that can keep me healthy next year.

The other thing i want to work on this offseason is my mental toughness. I think I’ve made some good strides this year – getting my brain under control. But i have a lot to keep working on…. i still give up too easily in practice. No demanding enough of myself when it gets tough. Doesn’t happen much during races – especially when i have people on my radar. But i need to get better at pushing through when no-one but me is watching. 

First thing on the plan – balancing this end of the year funk. I’m ready to be done, but ready to be working towards a successful 2014.  I want time off … but i want to finish strong. I want to hear back from my application, but I’m worried its going to be bad news. Just need to pull through the next two weeks. Then its time to get ready for next year!!

Week in Review

So its Sunday night, and I am sitting here drinking a Manhattan, enjoying a fire and the company of the husband and the dog. Its time for week in review.

Coming off last week, I really wanted to nail this week. Pull my motivation off the floor and get everything back where it needed to be. It was the perfect fall weekend. Apparently, in the rush mode of everything East Coast, it was also the weekend for Egg Nog to appear at the grocery (seriously? this is a once a week kind of thing. Not a three weeks before thanksgiving through new years kind of thing)

Nailed most of the workouts – really stoked with everything right up to the end. First, discovered my real power numbers and realized it hadn’t dropped nearly what i though it was. Jack must have done my midseason power based on race results. I know i ride too hard in races, so knowing that I hadn’t lost that much power over the last year.

Had a good run on Wednesday but really missed the start time on my tempo run. Had a tough time, mostly run/walk but i was able to hold most of my times. Felt a little soreness on my shin, but thought it was mostly due to the cold. Turns out it might have been something a bit more.

Friday date afternoon with my girl K. We hiked the far side of Marsh Creek. Its just as confusing as it was when Chad and I hit it on our mountain bikes. This time it was a lot safer!!

Saturdays run was cut short due to family commitments and a very sore shin. A tear inducing sore shin. Today we got out on the most perfect fall day. It was 55 and sunny – just a little bit of wind. Basically the definition of day to ride. Got to the ride and had a flat – only my SECOND ever! We pulled it apart and re-tubed and the new tube didn’t hold AIR! Gaby went back and grabbed another wheel and we headed out. Between my shin and the relative malaise of the group, we turned around after Deveroux. Worried about my shin, but drowned it in the company of good friends, music and beer. Molly MaGuires passed its evaluation tonight.

Love loving in Downingtown. This week i ran, hiked and biked … all from my front door 🙂

Road Tripping to North Carolina

Just got back from a whirlwind tour of Asheville, NC. It was a way too short trip to a really fun little town. Despite a 10 hour drive each way, it was totally worth it. Funny how that jaunt to CO really helped make long drives seem short. Pshaw! Whats 10 hours compared to a three hour 27 hour drive? I was really excited to explore the town, I’ve heard such great things. The town prides itself on being weird – looking forward to exploring the shops, the food and the live music. After all, Asheville is the home town of the Steep Canyon Rangers.

Unfortunatly, it was destined to be a very short trip. Last minute planning and lack of vacation set us up for a very quick down and back. We got there late on Saturday night. Just in time to stop in at LaB, a brewery that was highly recommended. Was hoping for some live music, but the stage was booked for a private party so we just hung out instead. We were highly intrigued by the promise of hatch nachos (truthfully i think they said green chilis). They weren’t hatch, but they were awesome. Followed by pretty amazing dinner of pizza and burgers and more than a few imperial ryes. We now will be recommending this place to our friends.

I was supposed to get a long run in, but I am struggling with training motivation this week. Instead, we decided to go explore the town. Asheville is very sleepy on Sunday morning. Grabbed a cup of coffee and just walked (and walked and walked). Fun things we found included handdrawn BBQ signs (and yummy smells!), an old ale delivery truck, and street musicians. Asheville is known for its Art Deco architecture, so i had a lot of fun looking at buildings. We grabbed some lunch at an amazing burger place, Farm Burger, where i had a PBR in honor of the start of the 2013-2014 ski season. Gaby had a beer from Asheville brewing and wanted to try and find the place. Turns out it was only 3 blocks away!!! So we stopped in for a pint 🙂 After sampling a jalapeño IPA (yum!) and a fall APA, we moved on to Biltmore. We also encountered an anti-GMO/anti-Monstanto rally. It was hilarious … the police escort was a zero emissions golf cart.

We spent a few hours exploring the grounds … the gardens were transition to fall. The conservatory was amazing. We went and walked down to the “pond”. Amazing grounds by Olmstead. I need to find out when he did this project. It was a little different than most Olmsted projects i’ve seen. I’m not sure if that is because of the terrain or when he did the project. Amazing grounds. Next time I would love to see the house.

Soon it was wedding time. No pictures … I left that to the pro 🙂 We had a great time chatting with friends, supporting Cory and Eric, and dancing the night away. Can’t wait to see the photos from Dan.

Congrats Cory and Eric. Thanks for letting us join you. Asheville – you are on notice. We will be back!

Giving Thanks!

Its almost that time of year … the crisp of fall is in the air, crunchy leaves underfoot and the smell of wood stoves. Although, its a month to early, I wanted to take a few minutes to say thanks to all who have pushed and inspired me this year. Saying thanks isn’t really enough, but it’s going to have to do.

My training partners Gaby and Chris – what the hell did we walk into this year?? We usually set the bar high, but did we have to set it this high? Good thing we like each other … because by the end I really wasn’t stoked to get on my bike for another long ride or out for another long run. Next time we have a crazy idea, lets have a less crazy one ok?

My girls at cadence You guys push me to be my best and get to see me at my worst. Sweaty, smelly, cranky. Thanks for all the shared hard sets, the pool giggles, the shared looks of horror at the days work ad the sigh of relief at surviving. Its so great to have a support network of girls also neck deep in training, racing and having fun. You guys inspire me and keep the fires stoked.

My coaches Jack and Matt, I have no idea how you put up with us. The late night emails, the questioning looks, the self doubt. Thanks for teaching me to dig deep, claw out of dark places and ride the hell outa the bike 🙂 I look forward to continuing on this journey. A year and a half in I think that we are just getting started.

My friends – You guys are certainly not last. Phil and Tricia, for opening your home and allowing us to flop down into your lives. Phil thanks for the bear hug that reminded me that one bad day does not define me. Tricia and Doug, thanks for pulling me out of that dark place. Bill and Susan, thanks for listening when all that came out was tears and squeaks. To the guys at work who made coming back in so much easier than I thought it would be. To everyone who said they were proud of me … that they still believed in me … who were just there to listen or to share a hug. I was crushed to have to tell people that I let them down, that I didn’t complete what I set out to complete. You helping me to understand that I didn’t let anyone down, not them and not me, gave me the wings to fly out of the abyss. For this I will be eternally grateful.

Bassman – The race I didn’t mean to run

After Tahoe, I wanted one last chance to prove to myself that all the work I put in this year was worth it. Immediately after getting my phone back from the morning check bag I tried to get into to B2B, but it was sold out. I realized I was most likely hanging up my race hat for this year. I did a quick assessment of how i finished the season, and planned on moving on – starting fresh next year. Then I got an email from the folks over at citytri … come race the Bassman half for 150$. It’s a small local race outside of AC and it’s always a reasonable price. Before I knew it, my credit card was out of my hands and my name was on the registration list.

I talked it over with Jack, who thought it would be a good idea to go ahead and push this one. Coming in with a serious chip on my shoulder we worked out a race plan that would hopefully finally realize that PR I had been chasing all season. Swim strong and steady, control the bike, and run pissed at Tahoe. I was aiming for 150-160 NP on the bike.

Morning of, we had a 0400 push. I got up and had breakfast plans disrupted by Wawa’s hot food starting at 5am. Grabbed a coffee and a muffin and decided to just wing it. Had a quarter of the muffin in the car and saved the rest for after transition setup. Bassman is such a tiny race that we did morning of packet pickup. It was dark when we rolled in and we were quite early. Took my time doing all the morning stuff, body marking, bike stickering, eating. In transition, my stuff got jostled by my next store neighbor who went about setting her stuff right on top of mine. I decided i was going to go at her if we were remotely close on the course. There was a late start due to park service arrival – so I wasn’t set to go off till 9am. I didn’t know what to do with all this time and it put me in a bad place. I didn’t want to race … I didn’t want to get in the water and have another crappy swim. I didn’t want to have another crappy ride and I certainly had no desire to run. I got into my wet suit anyway and lined up.

The swim was very weedy. Every stroke was contact city – not with people but with green stuff. It got in your face, around your feet and stuck in your wristband. Ugh! Still fighting the tail end of an upper respiratory thing – had one or two stops to clear the gunk out of my chest, but overall had a good swim. Didn’t wear a watch – reports from shore said my first lap was faster than my second. I would have thought it was the other way around. I felt much more settled on the second lap. Got out of the water and ran up the LOOOOONG ramp to grab my inhaler and into transition. Gaby (and Kona) said i was 6th out of the water (wrong in the end … but still motivating!). Stripped wetsuit, jammed on CEP socks (one got stuck!), Garmin check, bike shoes, helmet, sunglasses, and out! SWIM 44:26, T1 5:15

The bike is flat flat flat! I haven’t seen the half course before so I didn’t know what to expect. I knew that aero for 3 hours was going to be a struggle. First loop I went in with the idea of “lets see what we got here”. There were a couple wonky parts – some exposed seams, a weird little rise, a long out and back with a tight turn and some road hazards (sand, leaf debris, rocks). Completed the first loop riding at NP 160watts but knew I wanted to back it off. I saw my rack “mate” and knew I would never catch her. Passed one girl and a few guys but not much movement overall. Saw Bill out ahead of me by just a smidge. Didn’t seem to gain or lose on him at all during the ride. That was all ok with me, I was trying to ride smart and leave my emotion for the run. The wind was weird – mostly cross winds by feel, but impactful to power more than anticipated. The wind would blow and i would find myself doing 200 watts, two minutes later the wind would be gone and I would look down to see 125 watts at the same cadence. Note to self – cadence is not a good measure of effort. I ate a half a waffle each half hour and a 100 calorie bottle of heed each of the two loops. At the hour mark I swapped bottles, grabbed some salt pills and back at it. At two I swapped in water, more salt and two advil. My back was pretty crampy by the end of the ride, but i felt good coming off the bike. Had a stumble into transition and almost lost my data (eek!), slowed down, paid attention and got back into it. At T2, I grabbed my shoes, visor, and some sunscreen. I knew it was going to be a long day out on the run course, so I tried to steel myself to the work at hand. BIKE 3:04:59, T2 02:08

The run, oh the run. Will you ever be kind to me? I realized several steps into the run that I had missed calories at hour 3. Bummer. I also knew I couldn’t get in on the gels early. This may have been a mistake. It took several miles to settle in and when I did it was a run/walk kinda day. My back was pretty rocked after the ride and I was really having trouble with my breathing. The run course is very challenging – it’s a mixture of sand, sun, trails, shaded crowned road and very very desolate. I tried to keep running, but it just wasn’t there. I did not allow myself to stop though, if I wasn’t running, I was walking. That was it – two options. Move or move faster. At one hour in I took a gel and felt the energy surge through me … this is when I knew the missed 3hour nutrition was a mistake. There was a shortage of water on the trail, but lots of Heed. My stomach starting revolting after a while. Lots of turn arounds provided lots of insight into the field. I came off the bike ahead 10 minutes ahead of the girl who was chipping away from my lead. I took a second gel (with caffeine) with three miles to go. I wanted a surge of energy to keep ahead of this girl. I tried to hold her off, but she passed me between mile 11 and 12. I guess I waited too long – or got in my own head. Turns out it was the one woman I passed on the ride and she was 55 years old … Props to her! I powered through the last mile and crossed the line focused, on point, but drained. RUN: 2:27:19.

Final thoughts – I executed to plan – swim strong, bike smart, leave it all out on the run. I put it together on a day I wasn’t sure I wanted to even toe the line. I had fun! I came in 4/10 of women (told you it was small) and 1/2 in my AG. I PR’d the race. I PR’d the swim, bike and run at this distance. It was a good day. A very good day. So, take that TAHOE!

Final: 6:24:09

Friday wanders

Yesterday, I got home from work and decided to take Kona out on an adventure. We headed over to Marsh Creek to explore the single track. I haven’t tried to hike back there, but I did have one very harrowing mt bike ride there a few years ago.

Fall is just staring here. Although it was 85 degrees, there were hints on colors on the trees. We did a quick little bit of obedience work and then off we went.

Single track is a little hard to hike. First of all it was perfect biking weather, so there was a little bit of trail traffic. What makes that such an epic ride is the flowing, twisty, limited visibility. Which is precisely what makes it hard to walk on.

Regardless it was great to get out into the woods. Finished up the day sitting on the floating dock just soaking it all in. I still can’t believe this is 15 minutes from the house.

Life in Chester County is treating us well.

One week later

A week ago today I cried myself asleep and then when I thought I had no more tears, I cried some more. Such a huge letdown to not achieve my Ironman goals.

A week later I have more perspective. It still stings, but maybe this was my time to have a bad roll of the dice.

I’ve done all my workouts this week, taking time to remember that I LIKE this stuff, and that this is how I choose to spend my time with friends. It’s restoked the fires and filled me with positive energy along the way.

Kayaking with Chad and Crystal, running with K, Bill and Chris, swimming with Crystal and riding with the gang. Throw in some renfaire, beer and good food and that about sums up my week.

I signed up for a half next week. My goal is to execute well and remember to appreciate every minute of it, no matter how long or short the day becomes. One last dance for 2013 Tri season.

One more go?

That was the site of my thinking yesterday. Most of it was done in the pool this year, figured official offseason needed a new thinking venue. Kayaked with Chad and Crystal then took another 1/2 hour just for myself. There were birds, colors and hot air balloons. Fall in Chester county is apparently amazing. I was feeling totally relaxed, in the the zone and refreshed by the time I left.

I’m contemplating racing next weekend. One more go … On a course I know. One more chance to put the bike through its paces and use this fitness. One more chance to prove I know how to ride. I can’t make up my mind and its messing with my sleep (hello? awake at 4am). Do I race and open myself up one more time or do I just quietly transition to running and then skiing. I’m giving myself till Monday to decide.

This weekend is all about fun with friends and getting some stuff checked off the to-do list. This real life thing is kinda slow … And I think that I kinda like it 🙂

Recovering from a loss

I never thought I would grieve for a race. I may have shed a few tears before when I didn’t perform … But nothing like this.

15 months ago I plunked down my credit card. 6 months ago I moved back from Colorado and invested in earnest. Hours at the gym, on the track and in the pool. I thought I was ready … But I wasn’t. I treated it too lightly until it was too late.

I have always said, no matter the outcome I will hold my head high. Turns out that’s a lot easier said than done. I’m gutted … absolutely shattered … and left feeling like I don’t have the coping skills to deal with this.

I’ve cried all my tears out, but I’m still getting weepy at things like seeing finishers jackets at the airport. I’m not walking like I raced two days ago … I’m only mildly sore.

This is a true grieving process – and it’s caught me by surprise. I left everything out there on the line and now I’m opened to judgement. Folks asked me how it felt to pay so much to not finish. I don’t care about the money – I cared about finishing.

So now I’m dreaming of new ways I might be able to smile. I think I will wind up with my head held high, but it might need some support in the short term. Anyone have a post-race letdown neck brace I could borrow?

I’m not an ironman

15 months ago in a fit of drunken stupidity, three best buddies took the plunge on IMTahoe. One of us came out an Ironman – it wasn’t me.

I’m gutted. Completely gutted. I don’t know how to recover just yet. This is gonna take some time.

Here’s a recap of the day.

Pre-swim – boy it was cold. Phil dropped us off at the start. We did bag drops and bike checks and into our wet suits. We found a warming tent and it was very awesome. Had a bit of a challenge negotiating the morning dropoff. Energy at the beach was amazing!! Had a banana and a waffle before jumping in!

Swim … It was cold. Air temps were 33-34 at the start. We did the rolling start – which eased the pressure at the start but pushed it to the bike. I had a lot of trouble settling in on the swim but by the second lap I was pulling the time I wanted for the first. I was pleased to have overcome a hard first lap. Got knocked around pretty good at the turn around, as the first group of AG folks headed towards shore. Sighting was sporty due to fog, but the water was so amazing to swim in. Snow capped mountains and crystal clear blue water. Total swim time 2:00ish.

Into the changing tent. It was a cluster!! People everywhere trying to get warm. Full changes take forever … Then add hypothermia. Volunteers were great but it was just slow. I was about 20 minutes in there and I never “took my time”.

Bike – Hopped on my bike and got out of there. First 16 miles are relatively downhill with a timing/aid station spur and a little biter of a hill. Fantastic course … My power just wasn’t there. Riding in 130s and just unable to put anything down. Nutrition spot on. Peed at the first aid station. There was a really neat section on a bike trail and then some more flatness and into the hills. Holy hell – the 2 hills broke me. Walked some of martis the first time and a tiny bit of brock. Saw a lot of carnage and took too many non forward progress breathers. I should have just walked when i needed the break. Grabbed water at the top and quickly got back down. There were lots of people broken by that one – lots of texting and sitting. Loved the descent out of Martis. Saw the sweepers at squaw but made it in on the second loop. I decided i was gonna ride the heck out of whatever I had left.

I rode stronger the second time around. Again enjoyed the first half although truckee was a lot less populated, so instead of smiling at everyone, I put my head down and just ground it out. The wind was picking up … There was some noticeable headwinds. Got to Martis and started up up up. Knew it was going to be tight but no one seemed to know where the cutoff was. I actually assumed it was at the aid station and I had made it. Really rode the downhills this time instead of braking them. Turns out I was wrong and the sweep was at the base of Martis and I was 20 minutes past the cutoff. I just burst into tears as I was loaded onto the sweeper van. It was a really hard way to end the day.

Luckily I had amazing friends who came to pick me up. Thanks Phil and Tricia and Doug!! Not sure I can ever repay you for that. 🙂

Nutrition and liquids were spot on. Didn’t get bonky or cramps once. This was a huge victory. Breathing mostly bothered me at the swim but able to stay pretty good through the ride. Peed at 6 and 60 in. Felt like I had the rest of the ride and the run in the bag. My power was too low with too little margin. I’m not sure how I could have overcome that either. So I’m going to have to work and understand that before attempting to race at altitude again.

Insanely hard course … High DNF rate. i knew that coming in, but I didn’t expect to be one of them. I’ll come back stronger from this. But it’s gonna take a while to get over.

Started the process with a trip to Emerald Bay. Just a gorgeous shot of a gorgeous place!! Hiked to the bottom for some thinking time then hiked back out. As always, sad to be leaving the mountains but this time, not sure I’m ready to come back for a bit.